love and hotsauce

nocogsorwheels:

Good lawd this entire argument just hurts my heart and head—how a lot of it seems to be reduced down to ‘yeah, it happens, but I’M not like that so why is the artist painting ALL GUYS that way? sexism goes both ways’

As quirkilicious said, they’re afraid of just being thought of as ‘one of those dudes’. I know that fear of being lumped in with the problem—I used to feel that way about other ‘touchy issues’. The thing is:

I have never met a woman who is a “man-hater”. I’m sure they exist, but they are probably fairly… Minimal. It’s frustrating and hurtful to get caught in a situation like this—and I have, several times—but it’s not ‘ALL MEN FOREVER’ who are at fault. I highly doubt many people think like that. It’s a socially-constructed mentality that is common in males and women who have internalized misogyny that’s the problem.

And as long as you accept that lady-folk are in fact plagued by issues like these.OFTEN. VERY OFTEN. SUPER OFTEN. If you acknowledge that they happen instead of trying to write us off as feminazis, or whiny, or man-haters

If you try not to be part of the problem, and let those who have Strong Feels about this sort of thing have their outlet to vent, with the knowledge that it’s not a personal attack

Then you’re okay

Also I apologize if any of this is worded poorly. I’m not great at explaining things. brb returning to my hidey-hole of non-social-issues

yeah buddy i agree with this post

if you are a member of (group) and you hate how this comic portrays the behaviour of (group), ask yourself this:

do members of (group) act this way? that is, is it fair to say that this happens sometimes?

do you feel like you wouldn’t act this way?

if it’s a thing that actually happens then it’s not wrong to be bothered by it

if you don’t act that way then it’s not about you. congratulations if you aren’t a cartoonish turd, but someone is. lots of people are. everyone’s tired of it.